Tomorrow's my birthday. One more year until I officially hit "advanced maternal age" standing. I have mixed emotions about this birthday. I remember thinking when I was pregnant with Benjamin that when I turned 34 I would have an approximately one month old baby. Now I'm having another birthday with empty arms, and for some reason the birthday makes the burden harder to carry. For some reason special days like birthdays and holidays are rough. Our son's absence is felt more acutely.
But I do have some fun things planned to celebrate. I'm going out with my co-workers for a treat tomorrow afternoon. And Mr. Chop and I will be going out for a nice dinner and then we will celebrate with my family over the weekend. I know I am loved, and I have many people to love in my life. I am truly blessed. I just wish the blessings would extend to the baby I so desperately want.