Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Bittersweet Birthday

Tomorrow's my birthday. One more year until I officially hit "advanced maternal age" standing. I have mixed emotions about this birthday. I remember thinking when I was pregnant with Benjamin that when I turned 34 I would have an approximately one month old baby. Now I'm having another birthday with empty arms, and for some reason the birthday makes the burden harder to carry. For some reason special days like birthdays and holidays are rough. Our son's absence is felt more acutely.

But I do have some fun things planned to celebrate. I'm going out with my co-workers for a treat tomorrow afternoon. And Mr. Chop and I will be going out for a nice dinner and then we will celebrate with my family over the weekend. I know I am loved, and I have many people to love in my life. I am truly blessed. I just wish the blessings would extend to the baby I so desperately want.


  1. Hello!

    My name is Elisabeth, and I am an infertility / repeated pregnancy loss "veteran". You can read a little bit about me and my experiences in my blog: . I am completing a PhD in Counseling Psychology, and my dissertation is focused upon the impact of infertility on marriage. I believe strongly that there is a need for better support services for men and women who are undergoing IF diagnosis and treatment, and my hope is that this study will aid in the development of such services.

    I am contacting you after stumbling across your blog. I am recruiting participants for my study, and wanted to invite you and your husband to take part. All that would be involved would be the completion of an online survey, that would take approximately 20 minutes. All couples who complete the surveys will receive a voucher good for a pair of free movie tickets at a Regal Cinemas.

    Please let me know if you are interested by emailing me at . I have included the criteria for participation below.

    Best of luck to you!

  2. Sorry for your hard birthday, that must be awful. I have recently started a blog also. please feel free to drop by and I hope we can help each other get through it